And I start off this ultimate amazing dictation service again so I can write this as quickly as possible and get it out of the way. So I'm trying to work really don't know what else to do I obviously need to gain money and only way that I'm going to be OK money is by working. And doing something and I don't know if people really aware that they going to income I just saw that I happens when I going to go I'm not going are you not quite aware of it and there's very little part of my original body left and spread out and basically trying to be myself 25 so there are some things that I want to work on my end I know devices but also I need to go to school so this year I'm going to go to Truckee and I'm going to get a house for myself and next year I'm going to be in school and be able to focus on it slowly and William TV on time with school for this which is true I did last semester last time I was in. It's been really hard for me to like find stability in order to like it so I wasn't life and for that little bit weary about this but I will be home because I can do a lot of things on there and it will be in Hiedi in being on the road which would be good for me really worried that I've lost my family I'm kind of sad but in the same appointment when I try to get them back the storm in order to negatively affect my actions and therefore be positive action reaction and it basically fucked up my back basically fucked up my ability to get them back so I deafly want I don't know I still am world what's going on in the world is kind of going out of my scope of reasoning honest to God. So I'm a little discouraged because I
Sunday, February 11, 2018
Thursday, February 8, 2018
Because I want to continue this about my journaling today my mom is in income and basically all that's left to her is like a kneecap and she sitting on the table to tear rating because it is a proud man who is talking to was the other girl in the office but I don't know his name is and she's trying to incite violence in this belief and concert so I cannot for my mom out of income by talking to her I make excuses and I had basically acting as as my mom through text and I have to be really nice my moms in order to pour out and stuff but she was basically saying I like how you try to rape me and Boa are using all these excuses and another thing that I can explain but I will operate on because I have a text so I can just put it in the book and write down and stuff so I will probably be doing that when I put it on here bye but that's a lot of reading and put it in as a lot of punctuation and I want to do that right now so will she was doing that she was beating me the heads in the system so I left school and I was like well fuck this I'm just going to go and get a different job I'm at the hotel room but I'm going to pack my stuff and go to Detroit and go stay home a shelter when I go get my CDL through Michigan works in the state of Michigan to give the state Michigan back the powers which state Michigan will protect children possibly better and and they told me that all these people around me will be like not real and holographic will be the second person because I can switch dimensions so Ashley's fighting to own machine works and Connor's in the area and find out what is that called Houma shelters so I can get infected with AIDS or every STD and such things about I really won't be able to sleep that much so I'm counting on taking like 20 minutes naps and like basically sleeping sitting up and possibly doing some fucking drugs I'm just kidding but I don't know how I'm going to stay awake besides Wells Fargo and I don't know there has to be like something I can buy like that will stimulate my mind enough for me to snap out of income and be able to stay awake because when they knock me out I'm literally down for the count and I am fucking asleep and I want to reply all and I'm under like all these do you know so it's really hard for me to say wait because I've been on the road now therapies and see now they too that was born and my body is basically just a custom to it and I've probably been I've I don't now I'm taking more help now anybody any of our world I swear to God probably not true but pretty close to it so my buddies kind of used to it and it's really hard for me to fire because it is a neurotoxin and obviously it works and human beings. So I'm going to continue trying to keep a daily journal even if it is the dictation in the punctuation is not cracked but it is easy for me to get this all out and I don't have to type it and I'm guessing you're talking and it's kind of relaxing going over my day and stuff and everything that's happened which I probably should do more of. So I woke up this morning to maybe and will have to talk when it's the other me the wind income and I think that's probably why am so depressed is because I was attached to her and I like him completely the file then at this point like I have no concern at all and that's why I'm smoking and I smoke up Grayson like I want to fucking stop and I'm trying to fuck in here now who is an incoming service at five from you but I really don't fucking now so I turn on smoker am trying to smoke smoke Pooh 10 or Julia or Gabe but I am and smoking myself because there's no way around it already is the fucking cigarette is going to have somebody in it and I want to fucking cigarette because I'm stressed out having a private myself and I'm having a fucking relapse and I just want to fucking cigarette no I don't to drugs. So well Christopher was like slicing up great he said that it was the night but then like I switched it off and like I put her to sleep and then he like at something is like oh that means it might be Grayson I might be getting stuck for fucking doing this has me myself Grace I had a lot of internal power and internal it's because you know I wasn't turn on Mother to 92% of the population honors which gives me a lot of interest rates and I fart really hard for my internal rides because of all the work that I do for America when I was a kid and all the work I did wrong or other countries before I was born and when I was a kid and with this whole thing started and I'm going to say want to start it was like when I start hearing is OK cause that's really when was like exploded or maybe a kind of sorry when I was in California I don't really know so maybe if it up I'm just going to go to Houma shelter and go to Michigan Works to get my freaking CDL and then I won't be found here or in your contract with Pam and I won't have to face losing all my family because there is a chance there is a chance that I can pull them out even though I keep going and income for me eating or for me drinking and when I tell you that I'm behind me I mean like my urine is so yellow that it can be compared to darker than the golden McDonald's are just so deep yellow and like I'm only your own 80 once a day at this point and I got diagnosed with insulin resistance and because there's fucking aids and HIV on like all my utensils and all my cops and the radio interview for you all my comps and if I cut my hands to drink out of the faucet there's a tardy on that so there's like no way around this besides choosing the right choice sometimes I can't pick the rake up to par. So when I got my hands and trailer so I literally cannot win for nothing so I'm just not playing your game today and I'm just doing what I want and I'm just walking that path and it's not happening it's not half to just not have I shut down my block her today from public view because I want to put this private which is one of the reasons why I like the sermon that I have is why like I don't write some stuff because it's just going to cause more problems like me ending up in a minute clinic or me ending up in jail or me Indian someplace else because like there's no government to prove that I can say that this technology even fucking exist even in 2017 with everybody being knowledgeable of it and everybody being aware.
I'm using dictation again. I'll try to put in periods because these post without punctuation or kind of hard to read. Today's feelings are… Mixed and anxious. I was cry little bit ago because I was remembering the fact that I lost my family and they're only a portion of them survive in that portion is A mear shadow of what they were and less like I have known them and I more as to how they are becoming. My am my life to see him so disoriented and chaotic I feel so helpless and powerless I feel incredibly saddened and I'm in a very dark and the spear in place. Despair despair spearing yeah something like that. I wish I knew more about how to exchange feelings through verbiage, butbut when I read my previous post I don't feel the translation of emotions that I do while I'm writing. It's kind of like when they first start text and before they had emoji's when you read a text it was just a plain concept of writing there was no emotional connection beside behind what is being said and sometimes for me was hard to follow which also has the whole emoji thing was created because of that . Literally because involved in the system and I'm a social experiment so if I have a hard time interpreting it another as well and it became fixed. I'm a proud sponsor of emoji's.
So I thing about it is the place that I'm working for is not protecting children and a lot of the protection that I gain is because I do protect and I try really hard to fight for humanity I try really hard to keep kids safe and unharmed or unscathed or resilient after entering and in preventable future before these things happen and I try really hard to keep people safe so for not protecting children people are reinforced furthermore into the rounds of hatred and violence that we can mess so they will overcome and try to be able to protect ourselves if that makes sense which there's another example of how I can I relay my emotions or conceptual understanding of what's going on because of my hood it's elaborate and elaborate and clearly thought out but I literally don't have that I'll carry Larry to say things and it's quite annoying that I cannot articulate my understandings. And that was part of my emotional designs are my control was that I was partially retarded and not in the sense of being Deville mentally retarded but in the sense of being stamped and retarded. I know that I've said this before but that's kind of how my mom my mind is. It's like my imagination them expiration of understanding internally and subconsciously is extremely high and acknowledge all. My extern all not acknowledge all egg knowledgeable like not all a good night OK. LOL and outwardly I am kind of average or even sometimes below average and I feel kind of frustrated at this because I literally have to go and find examples of emotional connections to things that I witness and understand and then kind of the sore eyes these the source right the sore eyes the source eyes this sore thesourise. That's all right as these into into into a bounce that I can pounds into a bounty that I can connect for you. It's sooo much added responsibility and double work... everyone almost has to do this to some extent so who am I to complain about this extra measure I must ALWAYS Take. I don't know how long it's gonna take me to write this book and honestly I don't even know if it's ever going to get done because when I try to write is it just sounds stupid I just looks redundant and look stupid it just looks stupid OK I don't know house to put it but it just looks dumb. I'm supposed to say here and describe to you like all the worlds working motives and it's really hard to do such a thing when your vocabulary keeps on being cut short and your articulation is just add a 30% mass and you're trying hard to contemplate what you're thinking and you're trying hard to examine of that and place that in value for another human mind read and it does not equate to your understanding. I feel like I literally have to write an entire for thesis paper on 92% of the things that I have witnessed in my life piece by piece inch by inch metaphor by metaphor and it is an exhausting exploration of examples that I would have to go over for this to be written correctly and in the necessary amount for my book to directly as a man and make things better because there's so much that I mean the extent of what's going on is so extreme that it's basically re-writing the Bible of the modern times and the mop and the Bibles really long it's moderately long it's basically like I'm going to have to write a law dictionary for every single piece of problems I have ever faced and that is Exhausting.
I was reading some of my earlier post today and I'm really thankful that I wrote some stuff down because some of this I forgot and the reminder of it kind of made me a little bit happy zealous I would actually use words Ellis Ellis Ellis zealous there you go Ellis Ellis Ellis Ellis.
I have a lot of ice is in going to quit smoking cigarettes I know they're not going but I'm a smoker and I've been his mother for a while and this new ordinance and Law of the people that I am going to school for keep putting my family and income and try to control his tuition by putting my family supernaturally three cigarettes and food so basically I've been starving for the past couple days eating less than like five 500 cal a day and trying to go around my family parts in the food that I buy or they've been putting HIV and AIDS and I had to make me fall under income and get me really sick and I'm getting want to be over like I tried and I eat my family and I try to live but like today I've just been so overwhelmed that I'm just like give me a fucking cigarette and give me some fucking food and leave me the fuck alone I fucking die happy.
Also today I was on the verge that I was just saying like if I die just let me fucking die honest to God stop keeping me alive stopping we go through this like I've lost all my fucking family nobody loves me I trying to fight for my family and with the ordinances it's really hard because my family keeps on going to encounter in peace by piece they are being dissolved and deteriorated and I I can't pull them out. And then when I did go in the income as like the dream formation I basically got killed so no I didn't come there So now an income there is no for Grace that I know of unless she's like sitting sitting in some of that little fucking STD ridden aids water or reeks Stabley sheen a help reestablish been helping my supernatural encounter reservoirs and shit. There you're cussing again because of frustration. I'm actually really sad like looking down on things and stuff. So I'm still real to the first time and Jen and I am still alive but also I am sitting in the fourth time engine and second I mention dimension dimension area and it's really hard not being on natural earth for me because I was born on natural earth and it makes me kind of depressed. I said today when I was walking out of McDonald's that if you want to cars like super hyper paranoia me placing me in an area where there are no original beings and it's all made up and income does cause me to be a little psychotic and a little unstable. And I'm afraid that because I'm working under a person that doesn't want to protect children that are going to do all their power to basically pays me apart so I'm not Grace here which I'm not I'm down to very few Grace parts and my brother is being made in the way and Julia's been eight in the way and they're going to play new and come out and come new income income. Oh and doppelgängers of my family and i'm really discouraged because I am not going to be able like I'm having a really hard time saving them and I've never really had this hard of a time and I'm nervous as much difficulty all that you're going to income often like I'm typically able to pull them out we cannot because I love them more because I try to do the right action but even me basically starving myself and do you hydrating myself and quitting smoking or cutting down smoking because I am at it very high stress avoid the smoke it's not it's not preventing the murder and it's incredibly difficult because when I went into income I basically do the tables turn around me because I was in there and I was a map to murder anybody what they were bothering me so is trying to take over people but and I was doing a good job then I basically got asked out of it like the back of me because I'm only like half there and I'm not completely that person so I don't have my full visual and like I was set up every time to just be taking over murdered and poof there goes me an income and it literally happened in like two days and I don't even know how and how that happened but it just happened to me. So while I'm out there in income in like the fifth time and channel stuff on going to that like I don't look like Grace and I you know basically I woke sleep state and I can't I can't get out of it I try to hide myself like I was doing well and I got all my body I got my body parts back that I was able to get back and then one not wrong move and all sudden I'm fucking dead and I try to save my brother and my sister and my aunt and this is why am so discouraged their original parts in their original beans and I just could not do it like I just wasn't able to because everything everything is a rational reasonable way to go about these things will turn around on me because I wasn't fully Grace and I couldn't use Grace powers because I'm not bound to the laws of Gracie more bound to the laws of another person and there and they're using that against and it worked because I don't have enough knowledge or understanding of other people because I'd never going to incomes is relatively new for me and I basically guy in the life so I literally am not too much grace but he does say that like internally I'm for Grace so I don't now. The laws are set up internally are kind a makeshift and whatever's for the other person because I see him today if you want to do anything right at this point like they killed my sister it was an illegal kill it was Ashley when I got back to the freaking office I told her that my sister was died and she was that through income she said no and the look on her face she was like yeah I know I did that and like I wanted to reach across the table and fuck that bitch up literally fuck that bitch up. So I spent the next two days trying to get my sister into a coffin instead of her being tortured for the rest of eternity and part of her going to go often and part of her still being tortured so there are two more alive and that makes her live in 2012 still or in other places and since they did it illegally it's hard to catch onto the system because latest turn off my sisters oxygen and made her pass out and they wouldn't let her in consciousness. So now I'm looking for a new job because I don't want to work on the lease people because they put me to the four dimension and they said her get to me and they are going out to my family parties and murdering them and they murdered my sister and I are trying to take over everybody and they took over my Facebook and they're trying to sell my Instagram and take over that for everybody to use or to miss place it in the future and they're also try to take of my blogger and bar above I have some of this I really don't understand so I can't tell you like ownership internally fully it's basically like it's basically like will give you an ongoing on this living person will have like the head of me or something is basically on the seventh person then let's say remember but that's why you know the original life was established and that's why the original life is so important because you know you're always I'm still me even though like I've been pieced part and stuff like I haven't fully change like today I'm just a little disgruntled and I don't care about like being controlled and stuff so I'm just doing whatever I want regardless of the consequences because at this at this point I'm just fed up and I really don't have fucking any regard for anybody even though like I love my brother and I love Julia and I love my sister and stuff like I am smoking a fucking cigarette I ate too fucking sausage McMuffin and had one fucking salad covered in fucking HIV I drink a fucking large fucking sweet tea and if you guys were in there I'm sorry but I'm starving I am emotionally fucking on study I fucking want to cigarette I'm crying I'm when somebody says it's Gabe I stop at some basis it's Julia I stop but then controlling me is just going to maybe go to opposite way and I really can't fucking do this anymore because everything that I've tried has defeated you and it's put you in income and it's murdered you even if I try to go around the stuff and I don't know how to prevent there anymore and I'm fucking worried about my fucking house and I'm worried about fucking notworried about my fucking health and I'm worried about you know not getting them food because like it literally could be like oh well she hasn't ate enough so let's make all her hair fall outor her blood sugar rise and all the sudden I'm in the fucking hospital so to prevent the foreseeable future of me fucking being fucking hurt again I fucking ate all right by eight and I smoke some cigarettes and I fucking cried by eight and I smoke some cigarettes and I fucking cried.
So I thing about it is the place that I'm working for is not protecting children and a lot of the protection that I gain is because I do protect and I try really hard to fight for humanity I try really hard to keep kids safe and unharmed or unscathed or resilient after entering and in preventable future before these things happen and I try really hard to keep people safe so for not protecting children people are reinforced furthermore into the rounds of hatred and violence that we can mess so they will overcome and try to be able to protect ourselves if that makes sense which there's another example of how I can I relay my emotions or conceptual understanding of what's going on because of my hood it's elaborate and elaborate and clearly thought out but I literally don't have that I'll carry Larry to say things and it's quite annoying that I cannot articulate my understandings. And that was part of my emotional designs are my control was that I was partially retarded and not in the sense of being Deville mentally retarded but in the sense of being stamped and retarded. I know that I've said this before but that's kind of how my mom my mind is. It's like my imagination them expiration of understanding internally and subconsciously is extremely high and acknowledge all. My extern all not acknowledge all egg knowledgeable like not all a good night OK. LOL and outwardly I am kind of average or even sometimes below average and I feel kind of frustrated at this because I literally have to go and find examples of emotional connections to things that I witness and understand and then kind of the sore eyes these the source right the sore eyes the source eyes this sore thesourise. That's all right as these into into into a bounce that I can pounds into a bounty that I can connect for you. It's sooo much added responsibility and double work... everyone almost has to do this to some extent so who am I to complain about this extra measure I must ALWAYS Take. I don't know how long it's gonna take me to write this book and honestly I don't even know if it's ever going to get done because when I try to write is it just sounds stupid I just looks redundant and look stupid it just looks stupid OK I don't know house to put it but it just looks dumb. I'm supposed to say here and describe to you like all the worlds working motives and it's really hard to do such a thing when your vocabulary keeps on being cut short and your articulation is just add a 30% mass and you're trying hard to contemplate what you're thinking and you're trying hard to examine of that and place that in value for another human mind read and it does not equate to your understanding. I feel like I literally have to write an entire for thesis paper on 92% of the things that I have witnessed in my life piece by piece inch by inch metaphor by metaphor and it is an exhausting exploration of examples that I would have to go over for this to be written correctly and in the necessary amount for my book to directly as a man and make things better because there's so much that I mean the extent of what's going on is so extreme that it's basically re-writing the Bible of the modern times and the mop and the Bibles really long it's moderately long it's basically like I'm going to have to write a law dictionary for every single piece of problems I have ever faced and that is Exhausting.
I was reading some of my earlier post today and I'm really thankful that I wrote some stuff down because some of this I forgot and the reminder of it kind of made me a little bit happy zealous I would actually use words Ellis Ellis Ellis zealous there you go Ellis Ellis Ellis Ellis.
I have a lot of ice is in going to quit smoking cigarettes I know they're not going but I'm a smoker and I've been his mother for a while and this new ordinance and Law of the people that I am going to school for keep putting my family and income and try to control his tuition by putting my family supernaturally three cigarettes and food so basically I've been starving for the past couple days eating less than like five 500 cal a day and trying to go around my family parts in the food that I buy or they've been putting HIV and AIDS and I had to make me fall under income and get me really sick and I'm getting want to be over like I tried and I eat my family and I try to live but like today I've just been so overwhelmed that I'm just like give me a fucking cigarette and give me some fucking food and leave me the fuck alone I fucking die happy.
Also today I was on the verge that I was just saying like if I die just let me fucking die honest to God stop keeping me alive stopping we go through this like I've lost all my fucking family nobody loves me I trying to fight for my family and with the ordinances it's really hard because my family keeps on going to encounter in peace by piece they are being dissolved and deteriorated and I I can't pull them out. And then when I did go in the income as like the dream formation I basically got killed so no I didn't come there So now an income there is no for Grace that I know of unless she's like sitting sitting in some of that little fucking STD ridden aids water or reeks Stabley sheen a help reestablish been helping my supernatural encounter reservoirs and shit. There you're cussing again because of frustration. I'm actually really sad like looking down on things and stuff. So I'm still real to the first time and Jen and I am still alive but also I am sitting in the fourth time engine and second I mention dimension dimension area and it's really hard not being on natural earth for me because I was born on natural earth and it makes me kind of depressed. I said today when I was walking out of McDonald's that if you want to cars like super hyper paranoia me placing me in an area where there are no original beings and it's all made up and income does cause me to be a little psychotic and a little unstable. And I'm afraid that because I'm working under a person that doesn't want to protect children that are going to do all their power to basically pays me apart so I'm not Grace here which I'm not I'm down to very few Grace parts and my brother is being made in the way and Julia's been eight in the way and they're going to play new and come out and come new income income. Oh and doppelgängers of my family and i'm really discouraged because I am not going to be able like I'm having a really hard time saving them and I've never really had this hard of a time and I'm nervous as much difficulty all that you're going to income often like I'm typically able to pull them out we cannot because I love them more because I try to do the right action but even me basically starving myself and do you hydrating myself and quitting smoking or cutting down smoking because I am at it very high stress avoid the smoke it's not it's not preventing the murder and it's incredibly difficult because when I went into income I basically do the tables turn around me because I was in there and I was a map to murder anybody what they were bothering me so is trying to take over people but and I was doing a good job then I basically got asked out of it like the back of me because I'm only like half there and I'm not completely that person so I don't have my full visual and like I was set up every time to just be taking over murdered and poof there goes me an income and it literally happened in like two days and I don't even know how and how that happened but it just happened to me. So while I'm out there in income in like the fifth time and channel stuff on going to that like I don't look like Grace and I you know basically I woke sleep state and I can't I can't get out of it I try to hide myself like I was doing well and I got all my body I got my body parts back that I was able to get back and then one not wrong move and all sudden I'm fucking dead and I try to save my brother and my sister and my aunt and this is why am so discouraged their original parts in their original beans and I just could not do it like I just wasn't able to because everything everything is a rational reasonable way to go about these things will turn around on me because I wasn't fully Grace and I couldn't use Grace powers because I'm not bound to the laws of Gracie more bound to the laws of another person and there and they're using that against and it worked because I don't have enough knowledge or understanding of other people because I'd never going to incomes is relatively new for me and I basically guy in the life so I literally am not too much grace but he does say that like internally I'm for Grace so I don't now. The laws are set up internally are kind a makeshift and whatever's for the other person because I see him today if you want to do anything right at this point like they killed my sister it was an illegal kill it was Ashley when I got back to the freaking office I told her that my sister was died and she was that through income she said no and the look on her face she was like yeah I know I did that and like I wanted to reach across the table and fuck that bitch up literally fuck that bitch up. So I spent the next two days trying to get my sister into a coffin instead of her being tortured for the rest of eternity and part of her going to go often and part of her still being tortured so there are two more alive and that makes her live in 2012 still or in other places and since they did it illegally it's hard to catch onto the system because latest turn off my sisters oxygen and made her pass out and they wouldn't let her in consciousness. So now I'm looking for a new job because I don't want to work on the lease people because they put me to the four dimension and they said her get to me and they are going out to my family parties and murdering them and they murdered my sister and I are trying to take over everybody and they took over my Facebook and they're trying to sell my Instagram and take over that for everybody to use or to miss place it in the future and they're also try to take of my blogger and bar above I have some of this I really don't understand so I can't tell you like ownership internally fully it's basically like it's basically like will give you an ongoing on this living person will have like the head of me or something is basically on the seventh person then let's say remember but that's why you know the original life was established and that's why the original life is so important because you know you're always I'm still me even though like I've been pieced part and stuff like I haven't fully change like today I'm just a little disgruntled and I don't care about like being controlled and stuff so I'm just doing whatever I want regardless of the consequences because at this at this point I'm just fed up and I really don't have fucking any regard for anybody even though like I love my brother and I love Julia and I love my sister and stuff like I am smoking a fucking cigarette I ate too fucking sausage McMuffin and had one fucking salad covered in fucking HIV I drink a fucking large fucking sweet tea and if you guys were in there I'm sorry but I'm starving I am emotionally fucking on study I fucking want to cigarette I'm crying I'm when somebody says it's Gabe I stop at some basis it's Julia I stop but then controlling me is just going to maybe go to opposite way and I really can't fucking do this anymore because everything that I've tried has defeated you and it's put you in income and it's murdered you even if I try to go around the stuff and I don't know how to prevent there anymore and I'm fucking worried about my fucking house and I'm worried about fucking notworried about my fucking health and I'm worried about you know not getting them food because like it literally could be like oh well she hasn't ate enough so let's make all her hair fall outor her blood sugar rise and all the sudden I'm in the fucking hospital so to prevent the foreseeable future of me fucking being fucking hurt again I fucking ate all right by eight and I smoke some cigarettes and I fucking cried by eight and I smoke some cigarettes and I fucking cried.
Saturday, January 27, 2018
I'm going to be using dictation technology night tonight to write this there's a lot of my mind and I kind of started writing a go go but I want to continue and I kind of just clear my mind and get some stuff. Stuff off my chest i'm really it's I'm not really focused on my grammar that's why I kind of feel that I'm using dictation technology so. And then Tatian invitation what the fuck he doesn't fucking do that oh OK well I want to start off with on 17 January my sister passed away and I am incredibly credibly sad about it it's something I didn't really expect even though my sister that would like health problems but I felt like in the system that my family should've been a little bit more protected than what is happening because they have done a lot of work and I just feel like I feel like a piece of me is missing God I feel like I'm lost I feel confused sad I feel alone I feel an extreme amount of loneliness actually I feel a great amount of depression coming over me sometimes like throughout the day I'll be all right and I'll be happy and it all be good and then I just won't and I'm incredibly sad that my life is turned into something that's out of my control completely and she was killed in the system by people that are controlling this technology through me You're me being hired into the I don't know my new job love company that worry for by the school some people at the store I plan on quit smoking yesterday I had one cigarette today today is my second cigarette it's a lot better than you know smoking entire freaking pack a day or something I need better like coping skills to get through this because like I said I'm really lonely and everybody that they like son around me basically have all tear your motive's until like killing me for profit and it's pretty hard to deal with actually extremely hard to be away my life is kind of been all right I'm trying to get it together trying to get together I keep in stock to the system by people that I meet and it's really hard being stuck in the system obviously they go in and out of dimensions and they just pop up or they put me into another dimension on the side of me and they're trying to get rid of all my like all graces parts and stuff and basically make me not a new human being that they can you know murder because it's illegal to murder me because I've done so much work for the government and for the people in the world which by the way I don't know but my resume is pretty extensive at this point in my life and I would really like to start making money off of it when I was a kid I did a lot of internal work like basically what's happening in the world where people are setting of been going to a lot of that as a child but you know I protected a lot of people actually like pretty much the entire world I tried so the next step in my life is well I am working I got a job where I will be able to basically write a book and use dictation services to do so because I have a lot of like downtime while I'm getting paid to just drive and I want to go to school so like after I'm done with my shift I want to take online classes and back into school and start my career in physics and stuff so I I can make some money I'm really super sad about my sister it's like incredibly heartbreaking to know that like I won't be able to speak with her and I won't have her close to me when I need her and I'm
Friday, May 19, 2017
There's a lot of words that I wish that I knew in order to express and so I said I'm going to buy I have an advance dictionary but really it's not that advanced so I'm going to buy a theological dictionary in advance dictionary and learn all these words that I need to know to write as well because the complexity of this is just above my skill set right now in language to convey to you and it's quite unfortunate but I really do But it's dinner my mind is under control and you know it's quite hard to go around stuff when you've been a product of this year entire life
Holus Bolus
So everybody all at once! So the amount of contempt that I have for what is happening in the world is extremely high. When all this started out I wasn't much more looking at the expectancy is another person as much as I was looking at the abilities of myself and in re-examination this may have been a confirmation of my strength and I may have I do diligence of a quickening of my understanding. So walking out of what has made me naïve and oblivious almost to oblivious consciously to the reality of how people in satanic orchestrations conduct their self ... I wouldn't say that I was oblivious because I understood the amount of abuse that they did and I understood what happens to some of the people in in cable tray that would victimized by them but it wasn't something that resonated with me as much as it was something that stood in front of me I asked a lot of questions during the times that I started to gravitate to then understanding of the world's present state of exemption of God. Tonight I was reading about excuses and I do realize that it isn't a need for me to start writing every single day or are they speaking these things on my telephone when I say hole is bliss I mean that there is a great deal of repetition in minimal conceptual working it is keeping it is trying and it's might to keep up pay the profound expression that I am embarking on and focus on things that are idiotic another Hollidge hill Dality of nature instead of the freedom of expression and the freedom in love. There's a lot that I can write about about my past about what is happened to me about the current situation I think that it is necessary for the truth in my eyes to be expressed before the great cover up of today happens tomorrow. We live in a very inconclusive time and very and complex almost alienation of our own being. The wisdom that we are relying on is based on information deeply under nourished and often times leaves out basic complexities of a human being. I can tell you as a child I have a lot to say for my inner self and the experiences that I have had I can tell you that I disagree with the amount of torture that I have dealt with I disagree with my abusers I disagree with my accusers and I disagree with how things are turning out. The amount of manipulation that I am facing is a very simple process it has a name that is not coming towards me but it is basically to confuse people of present-day to manipulate the future . There's an expression that comes to mind when I think about how undermine that people are there's a higher self and then there's people that resonate on a very very spiritually immature And in an irate manner.
So I just want to put outside of the queen is really making me angry the queen of England that is. So obviously I'm under obscene constraints from the people around me who believe that a power struggle is to control the entire world population through the meaning them and forcing them into savage sexual slavery and murdering them until their souls are departed until their moral compass and so it's a party from their self and in capable of the guidance that we were born with and this is her developing an entire new generation of human beings that are demented and morally corrupt it to the point that we don't have an understanding besides the word income arm that are lessening our abilities to think and a critical thinking and our ability and our abilities to thrive and every single thing that comes with this I am so done with this it's not even funny like I've been over it for likes a year now and like people don't understand why I'm over this but I've been over this like I'm just like completely just over the fact over this I'm just over this I'm over how I'm treated I'm over how people are I'm over how people try to interfere with my well-being and over murder I'm over prostitution i'm over over over over listening to these people and hearing their needs and hearing what the fuck they have to say you'll get nothing so you place the cleaners like it's wrong for the bride of Christ to you to cuss well got us I have a higher math and I am venting and I am being judge for nothing more nothing less than anybody else's so it's really not that wrong and laura does love it the one that is correct with and for me to cuss and the time that I'm slain doesn't seem inappropriate because for all you have known you have turned off my ability to use high and vocabulary which is definitely needed to fight you so I just use that you know I bitches him and fuck you in Compton scene of how angry I am for you you know to tell you that like your dog and you're not welcome in the kingdom of God because you're a whore monger and you're just not welcome here and like you're not welcome in the kingdom of God because you're say the nest and I am and you can't judge me for it because of course you're the one who has made me disgusting and you're part of them and they are the reason then they are the problem and it is them I'm really really can't really judge me for this because your fixation is absurd and you're being obnoxious and it's too repetitive to be truthful because the mouse the highest form of mind control is repetition until it is ingrained with you so I'm just over following anything that is their their ordinance and their understanding of me and I'm pretty content as a human being and as a person that I am and I'm pretty secure in my actions and my motives here and I don't think you're going to sway because I think this is one of the most corrupt or times that the world has ever face and I just don't agree with how corrupt everybody's been and I also don't appreciate your input on every single thing that I I mean I can't move a muscle without input guys this is a little overbearing this is obnoxious this is redundancy this is ridiculous this is wrong everything that you're doing is wrong it's incorrect you're in accurate your petty you're in moral your untruthful you're mean you're the problem because no one person walking a single and trying to just make a normal life herself and not wanting to be right since mission I'm sorry that you guys couldn't like programming correctly to listen to you but I really just don't agree with you so I really feel like you've done so much to me to for me to just like agree with you anymore like you do you tip the Canover and it's float out and then now like there will be no harnessing of your words to me like you and less you're god you're really really don't have I really can't respect feel like I don't I really don't respect you I fully don't respect you because you've done too much to me yet you just use you've involved yourself in something that should've never been high into the grieve that you feel like like this is acceptable for humanity to behave in a notion that they don't quite understand fully just to cut off our fortune and that's what you're doing if you're turning the gold to them just to go just to cut off our blessings and then your copy writing words and descriptions that God has a different meaning of it's kind of like when you say one thing but it has like multiple different meaning than you've pick up the objective that's going to best work for you but then you use the cover up that's going to best describe what people want to hear because you're just being blasphemous and lying to us and very manipulative like the manipulation factor here I just can't get down with the dog pound guys I just can't do it I just cannot do it my mind this is not want me to be with with you my mind is does not find pleasure in listening to you on my mind just in my heart does not find this attractive like you're just not attractive to me like so we're just over it you know you've lost all your like everything that glitters is in gold is very true but you've lost all your appeal to me like this is just unappealing it's not worth it I mean the fact that you just turn off my vocabulary and my ability to think in large quantities of expression is pretty fucking rude I mean controlling one's mine is just wrong to the point that you know people should have free will and you're not very much allowing for he will hear at all against on me like and I know for a fact that God is real and I stand with him because I don't believe that God like invented us to be the penis and what is happened is very Heynis it is one of the most her Renda's and Hanus things that you don't humanity other if it is that I'm not going along with it and if I want to express myself saying bad words guess what I'm going to have fucking Tourette's for a sec it all right and I really don't care because that's.
So everything is a combative reality right now I want to say everything all inclusive but I would say most things so you are causing me pain is this going to cause you more suffering and that's just all there is to it so oh well.
So everything is a combative reality right now I want to say everything all inclusive but I would say most things so you are causing me pain is this going to cause you more suffering and that's just all there is to it so oh well.
Monday, May 15, 2017
Life after death.
So I'm pretty sure that everybody in America has been killed at least and maybe possibly the entire world so I don't know what universe we are living in our uniplexi. So I'm trying I knew life and and I want you and is a perfuse marijuana smoker is that I was sleeping I asked my mom walks over and blow smoke in there and Jackie and then when I finally bank up she's like I didn't do that you're lying and then I was like I woke up and covered my face out of my head and then I was like this is the 70,000 of a career that I'm trying to get in Jeans like we'll just do something with you somethung else.
really tired of this I'm a fact that everybody disagrees the corruption and got money but we didn't get paid enough in my teens hang out with us I mean the fact that he may take time and the soldering people and doing a scene ridiculousness that humanity he and I will be like protection of like a literal for anything fun we have when we go 40 people that you're protecting
Really tired of this I'm a fact that everybody disagrees the corruption and got money but we didn't get paid enough in my teens hang out with us I mean the fact that he may take time and the soldering people and doing a scene ridiculousness that humanity he and I will be like protection of like a literal for anything fun we have when we go 40 people that you're protecting
TG so my ex-employee or is the reason why everybody got murdered be fine and you know they murdered me then you know then I'll pay for the bouncer paid out and the awful time I always get anybody to hang out area would be bills would be paid a millionaire by now and some people only got like you know if she's having dollar $1500 and because I 35 zeros and they said weather for you
regardless
So I'm really not happy with how the world coming to an end and basically everybody with a stupid enough to just go about this because I don't either we feel the loss control or where we were on board with it when everything at S is in gold but we are promised you know great resilience in the financial gain and it's really not all that it's cracked up to be. So now we're just sitting here and allowing our entire unit entire population to be destroyed and the minute that they kill us and whether you're walking on digital are you been reincarnated like I have been I've been digital or whatever is happening to you like it allows them to be able to control you completely through the system and that's what we're being paid for is to be controlled and I really am tired of this.
So my life employer they basically had all these little kids that were similar to the experiences that I had growing up I like they were sold under wealth like one of those on the road now about you you know her mom one you know with the old under my control somewhere that you know products out of my control sexual child abuse but you know none of them went through what I went through but the Eminem decided to opt in and try to make one of them the bride of Christ. And the photo fucking huffy over here try it with little prostitute I'll be here basically was like well in order to control it with UH and you have to be the Monic and overall the demonic with an acting within their behavior so she killed half of the nation the first time and then sex in time which would like a couple days ago she killed all of the nation so I'm pretty sure like you know there's been times where I haven't been walking earth were like two weeks and then Riley got out and they change the entire time because . Because it's me and I'll sunsets pair a flake 930 10 o'clock and it's still spring time it's kind of early spring time and that doesn't happen in early spring time that happens in the summer or the funds days later about later so really I don't know what month it is I'm not quite sure nobody really does except a few people . So the queen of England hired you know all these little kids that were went through like from their experiences to me and then like basically you know some of them were pedophiles that Kim children like me some of them were you know kids like me basically hire them to control situation because everybody to do much to me feel like I really can't have control over me so they hire these people because they had similar backgrounds in life stories with me and granted them in on extra money. But like they're really getting paid a normal wage OK so I work there for what I don't know a month or something and one made like $100,000 I'm like well you could've been made that with the fall of dedication you know like it doesn't seem like killing your offspring in torturing yourself and killing the entire world was worth $100,000 for you but the thousand dollars for you do you need thousand dollars for you doesn't seem as if the thing for where you know I mean yeah you really could've just gone to college that meaN. So they just told me that that woman feel stupid for that after you know the whole argument with my mom but you know I was $70,000 starting career in a couple months I mean starting pay in a $70,000 career starting pay in a couple months pretty much in like my first year and you know I'll be making over 100 grand touring bike soon at this job and then I will go back to college and I'll be going to great with assessed and over all this because there's two ideas either you join it and you overall it was inside or you do or you do better and you know my idea of just you know be a better vendors like I really feel like this is really sick now as effective like being switched the fact that this entire like areas that a man was basically everybody was switched it to somebody else because they try to prove that you are also other people which you know spiritually you're still the same person and less you completely in a pastor or you've just been through too much in her two week to like go through it you know week to Caryonah.
So the fact that like everybody just like goes along with these type of things is really anus and the fact that I'm dry like people are trying to kill me is absurd because I am the original brought a grazed I am the race and I was proven to be the bride of Christ I am grace from the Bible and the daughter to God's people I am this woman I am. So the kid is if is trying to current control number one my vagina and number to my relationships number three my voice and number for you know basically to make me jealous that I basically because stricken with them via an act out so I third joining this evil and becoming of the world and in acting like this evil and doing that evil but I really just believe that I can override this one day because it ever has the biggest and wins and you know I'm one of the greatest vendors ever walked the face of the planet in my opinion and I don't think that that's ever going to change as long as I'm able minded and able bodied then I'm cool you know I'm not a very you know I am very secure and confident person but I don't like you know my trophies being stepped on and I don't like people to humans mine away for me I also don't like being told what to do like especially by people that are up to no good that don't care about anybody's well-being I mean literally obviously you see what's happening and everybody to dramatize to snap out of it or reliving in this like very dark beer that we don't understand but we're like fascinated by the enlightenment profits of the illuminati acceptance which is completely false and we're following to me false idols and these things are just that's just the reality that we live in but nobody cares about what is unseen instead of what is here you care about more of the money I like but I don't understand that because you're not making a mass like fortunes like you're not OK guys like as it stands I'm worth As it stands I'm worth $190 trillion a year just rough estimation from like the simple things that I can do and I'm not even talking about the expensive things like everybody was making $190 trillion a month from then I can kind of understand why you believe it will bring peace but it won't be of 120 $990 trillion a month for each person with literally you don't work out to be like 100,000 and then you know everything will go up in a later might be crazy and I just how money works you know like you've. And I quite honestly should never have been killed in California my entire life basically internally when I was like 10 9878 years old and became one of you original first kids to be a Centrillion nerves and trillionaire no decillion or decillion air internally which means that I was really rich internally like it's really hard to become of this in the ceiling area in the 90s internally and I did it because I do you know spoke up for myself like and I was always accurate as a kid like I always just understood but I'll behaviors I understand the world around me under saddle happening when I wasn't traumatized to be retarded and that's why they me retarded externally I was highly intelligent not just you know I was super intelligent it was a super intelligent human being and they are the illuminati and then WO has tried everything in their power to prevent me from prevailing over the shit.
So I'm pretty sure that everybody in America has been killed at least and maybe possibly the entire world so I don't know what universe we are living in our uniplexi. So I'm trying I knew life and and I want you and is a perfuse marijuana smoker is that I was sleeping I asked my mom walks over and blow smoke in there and Jackie and then when I finally bank up she's like I didn't do that you're lying and then I was like I woke up and covered my face out of my head and then I was like this is the 70,000 of a career that I'm trying to get in Jeans like we'll just do something with you somethung else.
really tired of this I'm a fact that everybody disagrees the corruption and got money but we didn't get paid enough in my teens hang out with us I mean the fact that he may take time and the soldering people and doing a scene ridiculousness that humanity he and I will be like protection of like a literal for anything fun we have when we go 40 people that you're protecting
Really tired of this I'm a fact that everybody disagrees the corruption and got money but we didn't get paid enough in my teens hang out with us I mean the fact that he may take time and the soldering people and doing a scene ridiculousness that humanity he and I will be like protection of like a literal for anything fun we have when we go 40 people that you're protecting
TG so my ex-employee or is the reason why everybody got murdered be fine and you know they murdered me then you know then I'll pay for the bouncer paid out and the awful time I always get anybody to hang out area would be bills would be paid a millionaire by now and some people only got like you know if she's having dollar $1500 and because I 35 zeros and they said weather for you
regardless
So I'm really not happy with how the world coming to an end and basically everybody with a stupid enough to just go about this because I don't either we feel the loss control or where we were on board with it when everything at S is in gold but we are promised you know great resilience in the financial gain and it's really not all that it's cracked up to be. So now we're just sitting here and allowing our entire unit entire population to be destroyed and the minute that they kill us and whether you're walking on digital are you been reincarnated like I have been I've been digital or whatever is happening to you like it allows them to be able to control you completely through the system and that's what we're being paid for is to be controlled and I really am tired of this.
So my life employer they basically had all these little kids that were similar to the experiences that I had growing up I like they were sold under wealth like one of those on the road now about you you know her mom one you know with the old under my control somewhere that you know products out of my control sexual child abuse but you know none of them went through what I went through but the Eminem decided to opt in and try to make one of them the bride of Christ. And the photo fucking huffy over here try it with little prostitute I'll be here basically was like well in order to control it with UH and you have to be the Monic and overall the demonic with an acting within their behavior so she killed half of the nation the first time and then sex in time which would like a couple days ago she killed all of the nation so I'm pretty sure like you know there's been times where I haven't been walking earth were like two weeks and then Riley got out and they change the entire time because . Because it's me and I'll sunsets pair a flake 930 10 o'clock and it's still spring time it's kind of early spring time and that doesn't happen in early spring time that happens in the summer or the funds days later about later so really I don't know what month it is I'm not quite sure nobody really does except a few people . So the queen of England hired you know all these little kids that were went through like from their experiences to me and then like basically you know some of them were pedophiles that Kim children like me some of them were you know kids like me basically hire them to control situation because everybody to do much to me feel like I really can't have control over me so they hire these people because they had similar backgrounds in life stories with me and granted them in on extra money. But like they're really getting paid a normal wage OK so I work there for what I don't know a month or something and one made like $100,000 I'm like well you could've been made that with the fall of dedication you know like it doesn't seem like killing your offspring in torturing yourself and killing the entire world was worth $100,000 for you but the thousand dollars for you do you need thousand dollars for you doesn't seem as if the thing for where you know I mean yeah you really could've just gone to college that meaN. So they just told me that that woman feel stupid for that after you know the whole argument with my mom but you know I was $70,000 starting career in a couple months I mean starting pay in a $70,000 career starting pay in a couple months pretty much in like my first year and you know I'll be making over 100 grand touring bike soon at this job and then I will go back to college and I'll be going to great with assessed and over all this because there's two ideas either you join it and you overall it was inside or you do or you do better and you know my idea of just you know be a better vendors like I really feel like this is really sick now as effective like being switched the fact that this entire like areas that a man was basically everybody was switched it to somebody else because they try to prove that you are also other people which you know spiritually you're still the same person and less you completely in a pastor or you've just been through too much in her two week to like go through it you know week to Caryonah.
So the fact that like everybody just like goes along with these type of things is really anus and the fact that I'm dry like people are trying to kill me is absurd because I am the original brought a grazed I am the race and I was proven to be the bride of Christ I am grace from the Bible and the daughter to God's people I am this woman I am. So the kid is if is trying to current control number one my vagina and number to my relationships number three my voice and number for you know basically to make me jealous that I basically because stricken with them via an act out so I third joining this evil and becoming of the world and in acting like this evil and doing that evil but I really just believe that I can override this one day because it ever has the biggest and wins and you know I'm one of the greatest vendors ever walked the face of the planet in my opinion and I don't think that that's ever going to change as long as I'm able minded and able bodied then I'm cool you know I'm not a very you know I am very secure and confident person but I don't like you know my trophies being stepped on and I don't like people to humans mine away for me I also don't like being told what to do like especially by people that are up to no good that don't care about anybody's well-being I mean literally obviously you see what's happening and everybody to dramatize to snap out of it or reliving in this like very dark beer that we don't understand but we're like fascinated by the enlightenment profits of the illuminati acceptance which is completely false and we're following to me false idols and these things are just that's just the reality that we live in but nobody cares about what is unseen instead of what is here you care about more of the money I like but I don't understand that because you're not making a mass like fortunes like you're not OK guys like as it stands I'm worth As it stands I'm worth $190 trillion a year just rough estimation from like the simple things that I can do and I'm not even talking about the expensive things like everybody was making $190 trillion a month from then I can kind of understand why you believe it will bring peace but it won't be of 120 $990 trillion a month for each person with literally you don't work out to be like 100,000 and then you know everything will go up in a later might be crazy and I just how money works you know like you've. And I quite honestly should never have been killed in California my entire life basically internally when I was like 10 9878 years old and became one of you original first kids to be a Centrillion nerves and trillionaire no decillion or decillion air internally which means that I was really rich internally like it's really hard to become of this in the ceiling area in the 90s internally and I did it because I do you know spoke up for myself like and I was always accurate as a kid like I always just understood but I'll behaviors I understand the world around me under saddle happening when I wasn't traumatized to be retarded and that's why they me retarded externally I was highly intelligent not just you know I was super intelligent it was a super intelligent human being and they are the illuminati and then WO has tried everything in their power to prevent me from prevailing over the shit.
Monday, May 8, 2017
The long road to freedom.
I am not sue were this is going, but to the best of my abilities I am still trying to fight for freedom from what has oppressed me.
My life is in tangles with some of the worst humans in this world. They have been the stark evil that has haunted me from the time of conception. Going out of their way to control every filament of life that I have cherished as a freedom, and later to come to acknowledgement of as a false sense of reality. For the majority of my life I was held captive to their offenses against my will, and it was an
My life is in tangles with some of the worst humans in this world. They have been the stark evil that has haunted me from the time of conception. Going out of their way to control every filament of life that I have cherished as a freedom, and later to come to acknowledgement of as a false sense of reality. For the majority of my life I was held captive to their offenses against my will, and it was an
unbeknownst realism to me. Its something that was so hidden to my judgment that it affected every action I chose. My mind for the longest was calculating the memories of the abuse I endured, but my person did not see this. I was the child they took to go bump in the night with, and I was the woman they have never let go of. I am exhausted with this all. Trying to escape the grasp of evil is a tiresome task. I want to be whole again, and I want the dignity I deserve.
Pictures of me under intoxicant keep showing up on my Instagram and facebook. People were sending me hard evidence now. I would listen to children being tortured, I would hear a child who was myself. I would watch as this child was changed and put through rigorous mental and physical torture in mind control experimentation. I was harassed, raped, torn apart, dosed with antrax, all in the name of money and scientific development. I was took from my bed, driven to my abusers homes or hotels, forced to serve and lay unconscious. I was infected with Hiv, and lost my body afterward. I was a new physical body over 400 times by the time I was 21. Now It's near 600. At the age of two I was ripped from limb to limb by a man's two fists in my vagina, sometimes 5 times a month. I was sold to billionaires, trillionaires, and street scum. There has been nothing they wouldn't do to me for money. I was took and placed in pedohiles homes that were the middle class, I was bathed in my blood and sacrificed in satanic rituals with the rich. Presidens, Queens, Diplomats, musicians, Pedophiles. I was one of the hardest pimped children walking the American continate. My ovums were sold, and my offspring's fathers were our world leaders. I have been Hispanic, black, Russian, Arabic, and I was all still me. I cant speak sometimes, I cant even breath oxygen if they didn't allow me to. By the age of two I had 600+ people rape me in person. I was sold and prostituted to over 200 million people in my life, and the numbers are still rising.
This is my life.
I think you understand my I hate this.
I am capitable of building a new Earth.
That's why I fight this, because I hate this.
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