I'm going to be using dictation technology night tonight to write this there's a lot of my mind and I kind of started writing a go go but I want to continue and I kind of just clear my mind and get some stuff. Stuff off my chest  i'm really it's I'm not really focused on my grammar that's why I kind of feel that I'm using dictation technology so. And then Tatian invitation what the fuck he doesn't fucking do that oh OK well I want to start off with on 17 January my sister passed away and I am incredibly credibly sad about it  it's something I didn't really expect even though my sister that would like health problems but I felt like in the system that my family should've been a little bit more protected than what is happening because they have done a lot of work and I just feel like I feel like a piece of me is missing God I feel like I'm lost I feel confused sad I feel alone I feel an extreme amount of loneliness actually  I feel a great amount of depression coming over me sometimes like throughout the day I'll be all right and I'll be happy and it all be good and then I just won't and I'm incredibly sad that my life is turned into something that's out of my control completely and she was killed in the system by people that are controlling this technology through me   You're me being hired into the I don't know my new job love company that worry for by the school some people at the store I plan on quit smoking yesterday I had one cigarette today  today is my second cigarette it's a lot better than you know smoking entire freaking pack a day or something I need better like coping skills to get through this because like I said I'm really lonely and everybody that they like son around me basically have all tear your motive's until like killing me for profit and it's pretty hard to deal with actually extremely hard to be away  my life is kind of been all right I'm trying to get it together trying to get together I keep in stock to the system by people that I meet and it's really hard  being stuck in the system obviously they go in and out of dimensions and they just pop up or they put me into another dimension on the side of me and they're trying to get rid of all my like all graces parts and stuff and basically make me not a new human being that they can you know murder because it's illegal to murder me because I've done so much work for the government and for the people in the world which by the way I don't know but my resume is pretty extensive at this point in my life and I would really like to start making money  off of it when I was a kid I did a lot of internal work like basically what's happening in the world where people are setting of been going to a lot of that as a child but you know I protected a lot of people actually like pretty much the entire world I tried  so the next step in my life is well I am working I got a job where I will be able to basically write a book and use dictation services to do so because I have a lot of like downtime while I'm getting paid to just drive and I want to go to school so like after I'm done with my shift I want to take online classes and back into school and start my career in physics and stuff so I I can make some money I'm really super sad about my sister it's like incredibly heartbreaking to know that like I won't be able to speak with her and I won't have her close to me when I need her and I'm