So, I just found out why there is so much inclination over my sexual conduct in regards to free will. After all I am being controlled by the worst people in the world.
I was told that by the time I am 40 it is meant for my vagina to be weak.
This is written on my patient care plan and that is the objective for my vagina.
I hate being controlled, I hate being raped.
I want to talk to you about my childhood sexual abuse. What the NWO did to me and what they are continuing to do to me.
As a child I was sold into sexual slavery by my grandmother.
I was placed into mind control and was used to masterbate as be a part of project control. It gets worse for me. I was bombarded with mental imagery of rapes and forced to masterbates to them, I was bombarded with mental imagery of gang bangs as a child and they used me to masterbate to them. I have even had them place my hands in parts of my body and explore a little too deeply. I was given forced orgasims all under the age of ten.
I was watched through this technology and programmed with perversion as to my patient care plan I could have become a great leader, or a serial killer.
I was three when my first rape was set up. My aunt did this to me and my brother, and I was placed on a no treatment list for STD's as early as seven.
I just found out that someone told me I had chlamydia at the age of twelve. By the time I was fifteen and got into a roll over car wreck I was on a no disclosure list and the hospital wouldn't even tell me if I had a concussion or not. One of life's little miracles I thought for a long time.
Now if I want to make my vagina feel youthful and healthy I am bombarded with perversion as a preventive measure so they can say I am the perverted one.
They are doing this because I have been told "good pussy rules the world."
I am not allowed to have my womanhood except in the hands of my traumatizers.
It frustrates me that this is my reality and this is what people deal with.
I have had so many traumas and patient care plans it hard to keep track. I was one of the more traumatized children in my age group for America.
So now after four years of dealing with daily 24/7 trauma, electronic rape, scurrilization, manipulation and everything evil in the world.
I give up.
I am going to live my life for me.
One day I will sit down and tell everything. All the little stories and a whole collection of my life. All the reasoning, everything that I can remember.
before I was out of high school, as many young girls do, especially when you have gone through as much sexual abuse as I have, I masterbated.
I remember telling a boyfriend I have of mine that after I finish I feel thumping on my privates. A pat here, a pat there. I described it to him as a car engine cooling down when you can feel the heat and the tick, tick,tick of it settling.
He looked at me strange and I just kinda brushed it off. I didn't know it wasn't natural. Just like most of the trauma people endure through this technology, you just think it's organic.
So, because I kept myself for a few years up to a while ago, while I was in the heaviest part of my trauma, I ended up having sex and I was shocked at the condition of my vagina. I mean this rape and these electronic rapes and sent my vagina back to how it was after california.
I didnt realize.
The only thing that seemed to help my vagina after california, because they wouldn't treat me, was masterbation.
After what they did to me, and a mixture of lonesomeness, I masterbated frequently.
I regained my vaginal strength, my tissue seemed healthier, oxygen levels were back up, it was like douching and clearing my vagina at the same time. I felt my my vaginal flora returned healthy, my PH levels were stable and in a normal rage with the secretion of my vaginal fluid, plus I like to do it.
All in all it helped me.
So, I masterbated today. Okay. I am going to be honest.
People say that this is unholy, ungodly, whatever.
But I am 27, and I do feel that I need to for all the above reasons.
I also think it's a great alternative to having sex with men, and bringing them closer to what is surrounding me.
I honestly wanted to wait until marriage to have sex anyways, but I messed up with Irvin and we lost a child. I fell in love with him, you know. Deeply in love with someone that hurt me worse that before. I didn't see it. I still didn't know because I wasn't that way.
But anyways, They are tapping my vagina again. I am being bombarded with sexual abuse imagery. And all I am asking for is peace of mind and my health. My freedom would be nice.
Kim Kardashian just said a little while ago "I used to do that to you back then... I remember talking about how much money you could have made off of this." With the image of me in my bedroom being a young teen girl.. She is referring to tapping my vagina.
Most of the time when they traumatize me I just clear my head, wait for it to stop and refocus on what I was doing. Wheather that activity be sports, reading, or even masterbation. I guess I have reached maturity in that scene. Mentally.
Mind over matter.
I am at the point that I know I am not liable for the people's actions around me and my traumatizes blaming me for how fucked up their lives are. Like me masterbating is forcing you to rape a child?
Yeah, well you'd do it regardless of me. Have before me, and will after you learn to separate from me if you're not put in jail for all the shit you do.
So I pretty much hate people for invading my life like this.
And I am going to continue, even through my trauma, work on healing me. Even if that mean masterbation.
The question is:
Is it ungodly?
Eve ate the apple, we live in the era of the haughty woman, it's my body my right, God loves me regardless, I think it's physically healthy, it's not for you to judge, and I am allowed to do what I want in my personal time.
I am allowed to know myself. I am human. Should I be completely celebant. No. I can't anyways with how much abuse I am put through in the sense of reason. I see a lot, I witness a lot, I know a lot, I hear a lot, and it's a choice or a forced action in my life. I have choices and I am being forced to be around evil people constantly. I guess, I choose freedom. I choose my own control, and forget the rest. I know my motivations, my reasons, my actions, and why they hold against me and throw at me does not dictate me as an adult or individual. It it their abuse that speaks for them, and I am not a willing part of their abuse.
I can be both. I have know myself well enough to block out the hate and be who I am. A free woman or sovereignty and love. I am grown now. You know.
I am being forced to disclose every aspect of my life. As speaking about this is a little embarrassing and still in a shroud of privacy for me, I am an honest person. This is a real life occurrence, I am a real person. I am HUMAN. I am still learning and growing.
I have to tell you I have been under a lot of abuse, and for the most part I have learned to not let things affect me adversely. I am not in control of other's actions and nor do I wish to be. Needless to say becoming a serial killer is out of the question for me. I want to end wars without murder, and I desire health for people and myself.
I want my body back. okay.
Everyone around me knows what is happening to me, and this whole situation is so hypocritical it's absurd. It whine itself down into complete redundancy, and I am going to give it no power over me anymore.
Am I scared that people will think I am perverted for seeing their imagery while anything sexual occurred. Sure, why not? But I am not them, and these are not my thoughts, reasons, placements, occurence, images- and I am incredibly strong willed. They have now power over my actions, and as I can separate from them after all of this, you can see that separation and move on.
Am I perverted? Organically, no. But I am being perverted in every way shape and form it seems like.
If I wasn't traumatized would I be the same?
Absolutely not. I'd be normal.
If I was taken out of my trauma would I be fine?
Again, dont have Beyonce quote me again or anything, but...
"I woke up like this!"
Everything that is wrong about me is %100 trauma from my abusers.
I'd be practically perfect without them.
I am going to tell you I think I have handled this very well though it all. I think I have made the correct decisions and followed through with actions. I have tried up till I had a major break in the last few months/(year) to be the best person I could. I am human, I break down sometimes. Anyone would through all of this.
Yes, I get angry. Yes, I rage even. Yes, I throw fits, and yes, I throw objects. But I have to cope with this somehow.
I am not raping people, never have. I am not a murderer, maybe in my heart?
I am not deplored because sex tells me I am shameful. I am not less of a person for what they make me seem like.
I am NOT my trauma.
I would love to see me free and out of abuse.
I would love to see targeted individuals free.
I would love to see corruption to come to an end.
I would love for a new way of living.
I would love for a civil rights movement to start for slavery.
Being a targeted individual is a form of slavery.
Being a woman of sexual oppression is a form of slavery as well.
Taking this stupid money over our people, or children, and land is a huge form of control and a new age of slavery for our people.
I would love for our voices to rise.
I would love for understanding to happen.
I would love for mind control to come out in whole, and the world know how bad it is so we can choose a different way of living. So we are educated about the situations, so slavery meets a last grain.
For freedom to prevail.
I am sure I will know my peace when I am finished.
I keep saying this.
I was molested my the United States Government, what do you want for me? A new world?
God bless.
I was told that by the time I am 40 it is meant for my vagina to be weak.
This is written on my patient care plan and that is the objective for my vagina.
I hate being controlled, I hate being raped.
I want to talk to you about my childhood sexual abuse. What the NWO did to me and what they are continuing to do to me.
As a child I was sold into sexual slavery by my grandmother.
I was placed into mind control and was used to masterbate as be a part of project control. It gets worse for me. I was bombarded with mental imagery of rapes and forced to masterbates to them, I was bombarded with mental imagery of gang bangs as a child and they used me to masterbate to them. I have even had them place my hands in parts of my body and explore a little too deeply. I was given forced orgasims all under the age of ten.
I was watched through this technology and programmed with perversion as to my patient care plan I could have become a great leader, or a serial killer.
I was three when my first rape was set up. My aunt did this to me and my brother, and I was placed on a no treatment list for STD's as early as seven.
I just found out that someone told me I had chlamydia at the age of twelve. By the time I was fifteen and got into a roll over car wreck I was on a no disclosure list and the hospital wouldn't even tell me if I had a concussion or not. One of life's little miracles I thought for a long time.
Now if I want to make my vagina feel youthful and healthy I am bombarded with perversion as a preventive measure so they can say I am the perverted one.
They are doing this because I have been told "good pussy rules the world."
I am not allowed to have my womanhood except in the hands of my traumatizers.
It frustrates me that this is my reality and this is what people deal with.
I have had so many traumas and patient care plans it hard to keep track. I was one of the more traumatized children in my age group for America.
So now after four years of dealing with daily 24/7 trauma, electronic rape, scurrilization, manipulation and everything evil in the world.
I give up.
I am going to live my life for me.
One day I will sit down and tell everything. All the little stories and a whole collection of my life. All the reasoning, everything that I can remember.
before I was out of high school, as many young girls do, especially when you have gone through as much sexual abuse as I have, I masterbated.
I remember telling a boyfriend I have of mine that after I finish I feel thumping on my privates. A pat here, a pat there. I described it to him as a car engine cooling down when you can feel the heat and the tick, tick,tick of it settling.
He looked at me strange and I just kinda brushed it off. I didn't know it wasn't natural. Just like most of the trauma people endure through this technology, you just think it's organic.
So, because I kept myself for a few years up to a while ago, while I was in the heaviest part of my trauma, I ended up having sex and I was shocked at the condition of my vagina. I mean this rape and these electronic rapes and sent my vagina back to how it was after california.
I didnt realize.
The only thing that seemed to help my vagina after california, because they wouldn't treat me, was masterbation.
After what they did to me, and a mixture of lonesomeness, I masterbated frequently.
I regained my vaginal strength, my tissue seemed healthier, oxygen levels were back up, it was like douching and clearing my vagina at the same time. I felt my my vaginal flora returned healthy, my PH levels were stable and in a normal rage with the secretion of my vaginal fluid, plus I like to do it.
All in all it helped me.
So, I masterbated today. Okay. I am going to be honest.
People say that this is unholy, ungodly, whatever.
But I am 27, and I do feel that I need to for all the above reasons.
I also think it's a great alternative to having sex with men, and bringing them closer to what is surrounding me.
I honestly wanted to wait until marriage to have sex anyways, but I messed up with Irvin and we lost a child. I fell in love with him, you know. Deeply in love with someone that hurt me worse that before. I didn't see it. I still didn't know because I wasn't that way.
But anyways, They are tapping my vagina again. I am being bombarded with sexual abuse imagery. And all I am asking for is peace of mind and my health. My freedom would be nice.
Kim Kardashian just said a little while ago "I used to do that to you back then... I remember talking about how much money you could have made off of this." With the image of me in my bedroom being a young teen girl.. She is referring to tapping my vagina.
Most of the time when they traumatize me I just clear my head, wait for it to stop and refocus on what I was doing. Wheather that activity be sports, reading, or even masterbation. I guess I have reached maturity in that scene. Mentally.
Mind over matter.
I am at the point that I know I am not liable for the people's actions around me and my traumatizes blaming me for how fucked up their lives are. Like me masterbating is forcing you to rape a child?
Yeah, well you'd do it regardless of me. Have before me, and will after you learn to separate from me if you're not put in jail for all the shit you do.
So I pretty much hate people for invading my life like this.
And I am going to continue, even through my trauma, work on healing me. Even if that mean masterbation.
The question is:
Is it ungodly?
Eve ate the apple, we live in the era of the haughty woman, it's my body my right, God loves me regardless, I think it's physically healthy, it's not for you to judge, and I am allowed to do what I want in my personal time.
I am allowed to know myself. I am human. Should I be completely celebant. No. I can't anyways with how much abuse I am put through in the sense of reason. I see a lot, I witness a lot, I know a lot, I hear a lot, and it's a choice or a forced action in my life. I have choices and I am being forced to be around evil people constantly. I guess, I choose freedom. I choose my own control, and forget the rest. I know my motivations, my reasons, my actions, and why they hold against me and throw at me does not dictate me as an adult or individual. It it their abuse that speaks for them, and I am not a willing part of their abuse.
I can be both. I have know myself well enough to block out the hate and be who I am. A free woman or sovereignty and love. I am grown now. You know.
I am being forced to disclose every aspect of my life. As speaking about this is a little embarrassing and still in a shroud of privacy for me, I am an honest person. This is a real life occurrence, I am a real person. I am HUMAN. I am still learning and growing.
I have to tell you I have been under a lot of abuse, and for the most part I have learned to not let things affect me adversely. I am not in control of other's actions and nor do I wish to be. Needless to say becoming a serial killer is out of the question for me. I want to end wars without murder, and I desire health for people and myself.
I want my body back. okay.
Everyone around me knows what is happening to me, and this whole situation is so hypocritical it's absurd. It whine itself down into complete redundancy, and I am going to give it no power over me anymore.
Am I scared that people will think I am perverted for seeing their imagery while anything sexual occurred. Sure, why not? But I am not them, and these are not my thoughts, reasons, placements, occurence, images- and I am incredibly strong willed. They have now power over my actions, and as I can separate from them after all of this, you can see that separation and move on.
Am I perverted? Organically, no. But I am being perverted in every way shape and form it seems like.
If I wasn't traumatized would I be the same?
Absolutely not. I'd be normal.
If I was taken out of my trauma would I be fine?
Again, dont have Beyonce quote me again or anything, but...
"I woke up like this!"
Everything that is wrong about me is %100 trauma from my abusers.
I'd be practically perfect without them.
I am going to tell you I think I have handled this very well though it all. I think I have made the correct decisions and followed through with actions. I have tried up till I had a major break in the last few months/(year) to be the best person I could. I am human, I break down sometimes. Anyone would through all of this.
Yes, I get angry. Yes, I rage even. Yes, I throw fits, and yes, I throw objects. But I have to cope with this somehow.
I am not raping people, never have. I am not a murderer, maybe in my heart?
I am not deplored because sex tells me I am shameful. I am not less of a person for what they make me seem like.
I am NOT my trauma.
I would love to see me free and out of abuse.
I would love to see targeted individuals free.
I would love to see corruption to come to an end.
I would love for a new way of living.
I would love for a civil rights movement to start for slavery.
Being a targeted individual is a form of slavery.
Being a woman of sexual oppression is a form of slavery as well.
Taking this stupid money over our people, or children, and land is a huge form of control and a new age of slavery for our people.
I would love for our voices to rise.
I would love for understanding to happen.
I would love for mind control to come out in whole, and the world know how bad it is so we can choose a different way of living. So we are educated about the situations, so slavery meets a last grain.
For freedom to prevail.
I am sure I will know my peace when I am finished.
I keep saying this.
I was molested my the United States Government, what do you want for me? A new world?
God bless.
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