Because I want to continue this about my journaling today my mom is in income and basically all that's left to her is like a kneecap and she sitting on the table to tear rating because it is a proud man who is talking to was the other girl in the office but I don't know his name is and she's trying to incite violence in this belief and concert so I cannot for my mom out of income by talking to her I make excuses and I had basically acting as  as my mom through text and I have to be really nice my moms in order to pour out and stuff but she was basically saying I like how you try to rape me and Boa are using all these excuses and another thing that I can explain but I will operate on because I have a text so I can just put it in the book and write down and stuff so I will probably be doing that when I put it on here bye  but that's a lot of reading and put it in as a lot of punctuation and I want to do that right now so will she was doing that she was beating me the heads in the system so I left school and I was like well fuck this I'm just going to go and get a different job I'm at the hotel room but I'm going to pack my stuff and go to Detroit and go stay home a shelter when I go get my CDL through Michigan works in the state of Michigan to give the state Michigan back the powers which state Michigan will protect children possibly better and  and they told me that all these people around me will be like not real and holographic will be the second person because I can switch dimensions so Ashley's fighting to own machine works and Connor's in the area and find out what is that called Houma shelters so I can get infected with AIDS or every STD and such things about  I really won't be able to sleep that much so I'm counting on taking like 20 minutes naps and like basically sleeping sitting up and possibly doing some fucking drugs I'm just kidding but I don't know how I'm going to stay awake besides Wells Fargo and I don't know there has to be like something I can buy like that will stimulate my mind enough for me to snap out of income and be able to stay awake because when they knock me out I'm literally down for the count and I am fucking asleep and I want to reply all and I'm under like all these do you know  so it's really hard for me to say wait because I've been on the road now therapies and see now they too that was born and my body is basically just a custom to it and I've probably been I've I don't now I'm taking more help now anybody any of our world I swear to God probably not true but pretty close to it so my buddies kind of used to it and it's really hard for me to fire because it is a neurotoxin and obviously it works and human beings.  So I'm going to continue trying to keep a daily journal even if it is the dictation in the punctuation is not cracked but it is easy for me to get this all out and I don't have to type it and I'm guessing you're talking and it's kind of relaxing going over my day and stuff and everything that's happened which I probably should do more of.   So I woke up this morning to maybe and will have to talk when it's the other me the wind income and I think that's probably why am so depressed is because I was attached to her and I like him completely the file then at this point like I have no concern at all and that's why I'm smoking and I smoke up Grayson like I want to fucking stop and I'm trying to fuck in here now who is an incoming service at five from you but I really don't fucking now so I turn on smoker am trying to smoke  smoke Pooh 10 or Julia or Gabe but I am and smoking myself because there's no way around it already is the fucking cigarette is going to have somebody in it and I want to fucking cigarette because I'm stressed out having a private myself and I'm having a fucking relapse and I just want to fucking cigarette no I don't to drugs.  So well Christopher was like slicing up great he said that it was the night but then like I switched it off and like I put her to sleep and then he like at something is like oh that means it might be Grayson I might be getting stuck for fucking doing this has me myself Grace I had a lot of internal power and internal it's because you know I wasn't turn on Mother to 92% of the population honors which gives me a lot of interest rates and I fart really hard for my internal rides because of all the work that I do for America when I was a kid and all the work I did wrong  or other countries before I was born and when I was a kid and with this whole thing started and I'm going to say want to start it was like when I start hearing is OK cause that's really when was like exploded or maybe a kind of sorry when I was in California I don't really know so maybe if it up I'm just going to go to Houma shelter and go to Michigan Works to get my freaking CDL and then I won't be found here or in your contract with Pam and I won't have to face losing all my family because there is a chance  there is a chance that I can pull them out even though I keep going and income for me eating or for me drinking and when I tell you that I'm behind me I mean like my urine is so yellow that it can be compared to darker than the golden McDonald's are just so deep yellow and like I'm only your own 80 once a day at this point and I got diagnosed with insulin resistance and because there's fucking aids and HIV on like all my utensils and all my cops and the radio interview for you  all my comps and if I cut my hands to drink out of the faucet there's a tardy on that so there's like no way around this besides choosing the right choice sometimes I can't pick the rake up to par. So when I got my hands and trailer so I literally cannot win for nothing so I'm just not playing your game today and I'm just doing what I want and I'm just walking that path and it's not happening it's not half to just not have  I shut down my block her today from public view because I want to put this private which is one of the reasons why I like the sermon that I have is why like I don't write some stuff because it's just going to cause more problems like me ending up in a minute clinic or me ending up in jail or me Indian someplace else because like there's no government to prove that I can say that this technology even fucking exist even in 2017 with everybody being knowledgeable of it and everybody being aware.